I've had the love of 4 miniature schnauzers in my life time and losing every one of them has hurt so much. We had Ruffy at home when I was a teenager who died of liver failure, Hunter and Witch Craft both my boy and girl that passed away within a short time of each other. Witch Craft was the smallest one of the pair, giving birth to 9 puppies that I helped hand deliver. I will never forget a moment of that or the little drama queen she was.
Then there came Sully. He was so tiny and had three brothers. If I could of I would of taken his brothers too. He was 7 weeks old and had to be hand feed at first, he missed his real mommy. Twice this little guy broke my heart when he refused to eat. When I first brought him home and when he was older and I left him with my vet while I flew to Texas for a few days. He almost died when I came home and picked him up. I shudder to think what would of happened had I not of came home early from my trip.
We shared 14 years and 6 months together. He saw me through my divorce, college, internship, two broken ankles and gallbladder surgery. He was by my side in my life. He was always awake when I was, we went outside first thing every day, at night when we couldn't sleep, we walked the streets of Hershey, we watched movies, we shared food, our weekends and took lots of naps together.
I truly hurt deep from having to put him to sleep yesterday. In February of this year he lost a heart valve and we started on the window of borrowed time. I really thought we beat it until a few weeks ago when he started to pace around instead of laying with us or sleeping. He was so restless and fussed a lot.
After a trip to the Vets on Monday I knew deep in my heart that I had to do the kind thing and let him go. I really wanted more time but I just couldn't be selfish. I will say I had my worries about doing this. Was it the right thing to do? Was my Vet sure it was really this bad? Was I going to be able to do this? Would he suffer the procedure?
All these questions ate me alive Monday night. About 1am Tuesday morning I woke up and heard him breathing hard. I just knew I had no choice that as much as I loved him and he was still able to get around and do the normal daily things he was in pain. I also knew my dog was tough. He wouldn't give up until his body literally gave out. So I had to be the one to decide how this was going to end.
As much as my heart hurts right now and I miss him every minute of the day I know I did the right thing.
Sully I will miss you every day forever until we are together again. I have your ashes, you will be where ever I am. The day I die our ashes will be together just like always. No matter what the day brings you will be in my heart, soul and prayers always. I really miss you today...
I love you like nobody ever will.
~Lori your Mommy